BOOTLEG DWIGHT SCHRUTE
What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the Chandler, it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop, it's her fathers business, she's Tiffany. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her, besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son, and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in France by the Tracadero. She's been waiting for me all these years, she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up, I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the vault.
Bootleg look, prime time feel.